Lifes Work

I saw a scar today It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen in a long time It wasn’t graceful or timid, instead it’s boldness vibrated with energy That scar, the story behind it reminded me of so many things, struck dizzy I told myself to breath so I didn’t fall… Scars are the best poems, they are the poems the flesh tells The rejoining of pieces meant to be a whole, of pain that has past but might still echo The skin changes where it’s rejoined, stronger to make up for the weakness. I think about the scars today, still spinning my thoughts, spinning around a center That center is a mystery, calm, quiet, waiting for the spinning to subside… Scars left behind, I treasure them, their reminders, their quiet suggestions

Old constants have shifted out of sight, as if a fog had rolled in and now the sun is hastening it’s retreat The old markers the strong and trusty pylons have vanished and the minds eye has filled their lack with ghosts Ghosts of ghosts who use to be our favorite past time to recall… Sitting in awe of their disappearance, the old feeling of being the glue, the force that kept the peaces in place Has given up… All of the needy feelings to keep the security of acceptance tightly woven together Has begun to unravel… Those trusty pillars have given way to bollards, new and polished offering no history No scars of history, of comforting permanence, they fade and pass of their own accord The temptation to become the glue once again is not as it was… The force behind the need is now the wind Shifting and dieing off to little more than a ghost of it’s own… Even the distant white cliffs have changed, they too have faded, been drawn in to the fog It’s icy vale thickening with each lapping wave, each remembrance of their strength and beauty… This is a time of lonely discovery, loneliness that fills it self with adventure instead of the temptation to return Filling up voids and cups and barrels with wide eyed wonderment and something called confidence These vessels would not exist with out the support, with out those old needs being propped up Or would they?

Waiting for confirmation Each time I pass the threshold I look to see if the 0 has turned to 1 Every time I think of what I want she stands there silently Giving back nothing, giving the reality back to me Energy she says, that’s what the attraction is As we do not share that energy there is less of an attraction I’m so full of love yet she does not want that She wants newness not security now I was safety when she needed it And she was a resting place for my heart She was a chalice that I had held in to high of a regard Exposing me to things I hadn’t known To a side of humanity that was not in my experience Who else can I put these questions to Who is going to give what has been taken away How am I not missed, leaving no empty space

To My Lover, Wishing I could kiss you now, hold you and set you at ease. Rub your head and body with scented oils and lotions. Touch you with the most caring grace. I want to give you everything you could hope for in satisfaction. You are so beautiful, such beauty consumes ones heart. A sonnet, a painting… An ode to you for your morning gaze. I shall not think of things that would honor you more. The list would go on far to long and I have only so much to give. I only want to wish you well and give you an unsuspected moment. One that will brighten your spirits, bring a smile to your perfect lips. Lips which I love to kiss and suck like a cherry. Feel me now, standing behind you, putting my arms around you. My love is yours to bathe in, you may carry this love with you. It is safe here, my love for you. Never take it for granted but always know that you are very special to me. Kissing your neck, loving you completely

Lover… Love peacefully sleeping Do not worry about love Do not worry that I am a repeat of the past I am someone new, for you And I am someone new for myself No absolutes, as you wish my sweet You have drawn back the shades for me Shown me in an instant, how many preconceptions I carry I want to do the same, yet now I feel like your pupil I hold you in the highest respect, I hold you as tightly as I can My fears I show to you, I am seasoned to be the victim Pleading innocence, a reflecting pond I’d rather not remain You demand more from love Such fire your heat is impossible to ignore I offer you my own passion in exchange Change is not always growth but growth comes anyways So similar our hearts desire, success and power All from within our personal places have expanded I want you to fall in to me with out reservation I love that you know what you want Our exchanges have heavy weight Those we choose to carry on, we will choose when to let them go I have premonitions and I set them down Knowing things will be different than we expect I hope our futures will be long Feeling that they may not only shows I am carrying some past still A little patience, a little tolerance We will see our futures, they will be exciting Passionate and reveling, I step with you My heart screams to be heard I love you Nicole, sleep well my sweet