Lifes Work

Beauty by design you play your roll and I play mine, those beady eyes once revered, now cast down Playing the part of who we are, each step wondering if we are different, if the other has changed Paying with our emotions as we have always done, this man is heavier than before… Thoughts of a moment, would you let a tear go, say thank you for being there, for being kind when I needed you But that was not your roll, the taker does not thank the giver… how sad Chasing me and my man down the stairs… for what? Only to let me know I was not caring enough for a taker such as you I wasn’t there when I left you, in my own house, with my dog, as I slept on the floor under an others roof… I was right when I said it… Good to go in the morning before she’s really awake… She’ll be too tired to be really mean And you were… I escaped through the gap left in your insults… I walked away… Our stage has been closed for now, your roll has been canceled as I continue to perform, giving everything away Giving until I’m empty and still never wanting to take, how strange that must be to you Not wanting, never asking. I know it’s not the best way to be But it is my beauty by design

Wash me delicately Or I may shrink If I am truly your favorite Most prized A symbol of your unique character Read my labels Do not treat me as if indestructible Notice if one of my seams is coming undone I am your humble servant And will do my duty as long as I am cared for I have protected you I have brought you pride Pay attention, treat me well And I will be there when you need me

He was someone special to me To everyone he met, he was unique So kind, so insanely smart, so completely out there My dad drank himself to death Just like that, died in his bed Phone cord rapped around his leg in a last effort to call for help I wonder if he would have called me, so he could hear me say ‘I love you’ one last time I did love him as most sons love their dad But mine was the self defeating underdog He made me, he made me think, even when he didn’t know it I thought about things he would say He was the outcast of the family I was always the one to talk to him I was in fourth grade after the cops came and my mom decided we’d stay some place else for a while I was sent in to the house, I never feared him There he was, looking out the kitchen window There was a strange air in the house I walked up behind him and told him what the plan was We talked a little while and then I left He is part of me and I treasure that part As if it were gold incased in crystal He was beautiful in the way a classic hard bound book has beauty I’ll never know him the way I’d like But it’s my fault, he was always there I justify it with pain… The pain of seeing A man like him letting himself go the way he did Here’s to you George! I love you, and you’ll always be with me…

Candle nights and wine, those old memories so kind Thank you for those moments, so precious, so there Those times just wanted to burst with love Those nights void of sleep and peace The good times we’ve had and the disasters we’ve witnessed Complete emotional schizophrenia at it’s highest degree Thank you dear little memories, so calm in your reflection Marvelously soft in your recollections Never anything bad enough to really say good by Daydreaming, it’s as if the acid never wore off completely Stuck in a state of wondering if it’s all real Or if reality will ever return again Thank you oh precious snapshots Oh licorice vines and table topped hinds These eyes have seen it as it was Maddened tear scars and late night battle wounds The hand that slaps and claws in rage and fright Those eye quivering, rationally vacant, writhing with in of hysteria Close the heart, pull in as the turtle does, protect that fragile you Looking out silently from inside, out of reach So lonely and so safe And now I forgot what I was looking for…

It’s around the corner, the day That space is going to go away and not return That light, that door into a special place will be gone A mind that has meant so much to me and everyone it encountered will go dark It’s over due in some sick and twisted way but I’m already grieving Saddened by impending loss, scared of an empty house Having childhood handed back to me, passed down with a slip of parchment So very few moments are left now and they are all tainted Soiled with beer soaked dirt, the past has just been cut down My youthful world died standing and now it’s lifeless branches lay crushed Poor little brain can’t understand what is going to happen Sad little child crying for his father to wake up Wishing that there could have been more memories Thoughts of good times to counter the hazy disease It’s close now, I’ve talked to him, each day is now going to start and end with the same question In fear I will wait for the answer to arrive This day is different from others Perched the raven waits for the call He is dieing fast